Life, Love, Long Hair, Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth, and other mysteries

All this and more, from a semi-Serbian, slightly sane, former editor for physicians and surgeons, who is the mother of seven kids.

Monday, 13 February 2012

A Man Who Truly Loves Me

When I hear this song, it reminds me of the things my Sweet Man says to me:

 "Just The Way You Are"
~by Bruno Mars~

Oh, her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shinin'
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday (yeahh)

I know, I know
When I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so
Sad to think that she don't see what I see
But everytime she asks me "Do I look okay? "
I say 

When I see your face (face face...)
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)
And when you smile (smile)
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause girl you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday

Oh you know, you know, you know
I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking if you look okay
You know I'll say 


The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

My man is amazing, amazing... the way he is to me.

How common IS that kind of adoration?  I don't hear about it often enough in the lives of others.

Do you have it?

Because I had been treated with such hatred by a "partner" for 18 years (see my long story at this link), and because of all the stories I know of others in similar boats, it seems to me that far too many men not only take their woman for granted but also fail to pour out kindness to her.

Even worse, they, either via their words or their actions, demand that she be less than him.

What's there to love about someone who's squashed under your foot?

I've commented to Sweet Man, "You  have never once called me a derogatory name.  You've never put me down.  You've never hit me, not even in jest.  I love how you don't purposely hurt me."

His response is, "Hurting you is like hurting myself.  Why would I want to do that?"

And he has proven that he really means it.

There are times when he, in his humanity, inadvertently hurts me, because he is frustrated or overwhelmed with life.

A recent example was when he was vacuuming in the adjacent living room.  He gestured with his arm towards the office and asked if I could move some of the big stuff out of the way for him.

I thought he meant right here in the office, so I moved a few things out of the way.

He soon started picking up toys and blankets in the living room and hurling them to and over the couch, accompanied by yelling and cussing.

I've become more assertive over the years and so I yelled back, to be heard over the vacuum cleaner, "Stop swearing!"

But that's as far as it went.  That's as far as it always goes.  It didn't and it doesn't turn into a fight.

A little while later, when he'd had some time to calm down, as he always does, he expressed how bad he felt about that demonstration of anger, and he apologized to me.

His apology is not mere words.

Knowing him as I do, I know he is hurt when he has done something to cause hurt in me. 

Occasionally, Sweet Man will go through something worse than a short snit.

We've had times where he gets a real 'tude going on and I wish he'd pack some bags and leave indefinitely.

Those are the times when I'm dragging myself around the house, doing what seems like 90% of the work and the parenting, and he is on the couch for his second nap of the day, or watching TV or endless Youtube videos on his computer (his employment in a sawmill is sporadic, so sometimes he's off for weeks or even months, and I must transcribe all the more medical reports to pay the bills, amidst being and doing dang near everything for everyone in the family).

But we always fix it eventually, peacefully, respectfully, getting back to the hugging we so frequently do at random throughout the house, and to our heartfelt "Hi Gorgeous!"  "Hi Beautiful!" comments, and to him helping me in the kitchen, and to him picking me up and carrying me around while I squeal with laughter, and telling each other how amazing we think the other is, and and and...

I love how we truly hear each other.

The fact that I can write about this at all with no fear of repercussion reminds me of how free indeed I am with this man.

No fear.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment.
He that feareth is not made perfect in love"
  ~1 John 4:18~

August 2005 with our old truck, at the wedding of some friends on a ranch at Ruth Lake, BC
Sept 2005, Okanagan Lake, BC
July 2010, at home

April 2011, 100 Mile House, BC - him 50, me 44

 July 2011, Fred Gingell Park, Tsawwassen, BC

With love,

Much more is in the works about love in upcoming blog entries. 
From the heart!  
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  1. What a beautiful couple you are! :heart:

    1. Thank you, and thanks for visiting my blog!

  2. Beautifully written and am so happy u have been blessed with a wonderful man! Say hi to him for me, even tho he doesn't know who I am! :)

  3. Thank you, Rose. And I'll say hi to him for you. I've told him about you and shown him your pictures. :)


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