Life, Love, Long Hair, Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth, and other mysteries

All this and more, from a semi-Serbian, slightly sane, former editor for physicians and surgeons, who is the mother of seven kids.

Saturday, 17 September 2011

Pickup Idea For Single Men

Today while I was minding my own bidness in the grocery store (yes, I said bidness), I was approached by a gentleman probably a few years older than me.

"Excuse me, ma'am?"

"Huh?" I look up, shocked that someone who didn't know my name was talking to me.

He directed me back an aisle with his hand pointing at the cake mixes. As I followed, he said, "Do you know anything about cake mixes?"

"Well, a little..." What, because I'm female, I'm supposed to know about cake mixes?

"I'm trying to find a chocolate cake mix," he explains, "but they're all devil's food cake."

I'm starting to smile and holding back a laugh at the thought that comes to mind, complete with Louisiana bayou accent of Mama in the movie Waterboy, but instead I dryly say, "Well, actually, I think chocolate cake IS the devil's food," and I emphasize it with silence at the end.

He thinks about it for a few seconds and then laughs, saying, "Yes, I guess you are right."

I add, to be polite, "If you look at the generic brands, you might find some that just call it 'chocolate cake', but the ones that say 'devil's food cake' really are the same as chocolate cake."

He thanked me and I went on my way.

That whole episode would be a good pickup line for a guy. It would also serve the dual purpose of finding out a little about a woman's kitchen prowess, giving a little foreshadowing of how much cooking he'd end up having to do if he roped in this particular girl. Isn't that what the whole dating game is about? Finding someone to do yer cookin' and yer laundry fer ya?

If I was single and interested, I'd have said something like, "Well, therein lies your problem. You need a good woman who knows how to bake a proper cake. Here's my number. Call if you need any help. Farewell."

Then the ball is in his court, no questions asked, nothing lost on anyone's part.

There's your woman-hunting suggestion. Try it and let me know how it goes.

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Quote on social justice by John Rawls

"The only thing that permits us to acquiesce in an erroneous theory is the lack of a better one; analogously, an injustice is tolerable only when it is necessary to avoid an even greater injustice"

That is all. Think on it.

Thursday, 1 September 2011

Short version of my long story

"Love to me encompasses being friends, lovers, companions .... being equal in one another's eyes ... it is showing respect and being respected." -Tahwandaaa

I started over with nothing in January 2004 and now, seven years later, I have so amazingly much, I never dreamed it was possible back then.

I had feared the unknown, and that was one big reason it was hard to leave, even though I so badly hated living with the abuser.

There I was with four children under the age of 11, pregnant with baby number five - from the new man in my life who I was dying to be with permanently, but was having a hard time safely escaping from the abusive ex - and having not had a paying job in 13 years.

I stayed in a women's shelter for my first month. Then I rented a three-bedroom top floor of a house.

Within a few months, I entered university for the first time in my life, studying psychology, with financial aid to pay for it.

I soon had to give up my educational goals for the reality of bringing in a quicker paycheque, so I decided to pursue another interest of mine -- medical terminology -- and took an online medical transcription course from home.

Oh, but how did I afford a computer in the first place to take that course?

Credit card - one of many I was to use and max out over the next two years.

There were times I even put my rent on credit card with the credit cheques they provided for me.

And I sure didn't know how I'd ever pay off that ever-growing debt, but I had no choice as I had no income whatsoever, not even welfare, though I did try to get welfare.

But the welfare folks told me I was capable of going out to work and earn enough money to support myself and my kids so they wouldn't help me.

Rather than take a minimum wage job outside the home, I continued with my medical transcription course and went deeper into debt.

There were many times I had to get free bread from charity organizations, and utilize the services of the Food Bank for foods that were not our favorite choices but given the choice between that and nothing, we took that.

I figured it was more worth my time to push myself through the medical transcription course, though, as I knew that would eventually allow me to earn a decent wage AND work from home.

The average length of time taken to finish the MT course I took through Career Step is about nine months.  However, with all I had going on fighting the abusive ex, traveling every two weekends for five hours to get my older kids from him, etc, it took me seventeen months to complete the course.

But it was all worth it as I now make enough money to support my whole family - if you've read much on this blog, you might know that I have seven children - even during times when mine is the only income.

I live in a beautiful three-story house on an acre of land in a quiet, semi-rural neighbourhood, overlooking rolling hills where horses roam in summer and snowmobiles blaze in winter.

It took three years and ruined my credit but I finally paid off my credit card debts, with the help of a credit counseling society.

I look back and remember how difficult it was, and I thank God for getting me through to where I am now.

I'm not wealthy, but all my family's needs are met, plus a few luxuries, and, joy of joys, I am living abuse-free!

Through all this, I had the loving support of the non-abusive man who is now my husband, aka Sweet Man. Most of the time I was supporting him financially as well, as he has some disabilities that limit the work he can do, but now he, too, has a job he enjoys.


Here is the long version:  Why I Escaped And From What Did I Escape?

If you like my writing, an ever-growing pile of it is in other blog entries in the archives section, in the right hand column of this page.  Here are a few quick picks: