Psalm 41 wrenches my heart out today

Psalm 41wrenches my heart out today, some parts more than others.

¹ Oh, the joys of those who are kind to the poor!

    The Lord rescues them when they are in trouble.
² The Lord protects them
    and keeps them alive.
He gives them prosperity in the land
    and rescues them from their enemies.
³ The Lord nurses them when they are sick
    and restores them to health.

⁴ “O Lord,” I prayed, “have mercy on me.
    Heal me, for I have sinned against you.”
⁵ But my enemies say nothing but evil about me.
    “How soon will he die and be forgotten?” they ask.
⁶ They visit me as if they were my friends,
    but all the while they gather gossip,
    and when they leave, they spread it everywhere.
⁷ All who hate me whisper about me,
    imagining the worst.
⁸ “He has some fatal disease,” they say.
    “He will never get out of that bed!”
⁹ Even my best friend, the one I trusted completely,
    the one who shared my food, has turned against me.

¹⁰ Lord, have mercy on me.
    Make me well again, so I can pay them back!
¹¹ I know you are pleased with me,
    for you have not let my enemies triumph over me.
¹² You have preserved my life because I am innocent;
    you have brought me into your presence forever.

¹³ Praise the Lord, the God of Israel,
    who lives from everlasting to everlasting.
Amen and amen!

(From the New Living Translation)

Falling

"Once upon a time I was falling in love
Now I'm only falling apart."

-Bonnie Tyler

Alone In This World

Alone In This World - © Steeny Lou 2012

When my so carefully wrapped and tied-up life

Becomes unfurled

There is no one I can tell

Coz I'm alone in this world

You might think I have someone who cares,

Who'll listen to all my pain

But no one can do anything to make me whole again

Coz I'm alone in this world

I'm still here to hear your woes

And help you bear your weight

But when trouble comes to me, I'm left alone - Who can relate?

I'm so alone in this world

How nice it is for you to have me

To listen to your stress

But I'm the only one I've got to care about my mess

Coz I'm alone in this world

I wish I had a friend

Who'd listen to my anguished cry

But all I have is me until the empty day I die

Coz I'm alone in this world

I try to reach for help

But all my strength gets me nowhere

I'm strong, they say, I'll make it through, but I still feel despair

Coz I'm alone in this world

I do believe that God is there,

Where I would rather be

But here on earth alone I walk with nobody but me

Coz I'm alone in this world

I wish all of us lonely souls

Could all join hands and pray

And talk about the things that make our days seem dead and grey

While we're alone in this world

But we're so wrapped up in our pain

And blocked from caring eyes

We cannot find each other til alone one of us dies

No more alone in this world

I anticipate a day when life

Will truly be alive

When death is dead and time is gone, and love and peace will thrive

No more alone in this world

Until that day I pray and pine

And wait and sleep and die

And hope someone on earth will say, "Your heart is in my eye,

You're not alone in this world.

"I care what happens to you,

And I want to hear it all

I'm listening like you do, I am breaking down your wall

Don't be alone in this world."

If I can be like that, then surely someone else can too

Perhaps I've not yet met them

Or perhaps they're really you

Are you alone in this world?

Are you trapped within yourself

You feel nobody cares?

Are you waiting for a friend who has the tools for heart repairs

While you're alone in this world?

I say again...

If I can be like that, then surely someone else can too

Perhaps I've not yet met them

Or perhaps they're really you

Are you alone in this world?

(I have some ideas as to how I want the music to sound.  I'm thinking two voices - male and female - harmony.  Now I just need a musician or two.  My guitar is broken and no money to fix it/buy another one anytime soon.  Contact me by leaving a comment if interested.  If you prefer your comment to not be public, if it includes contact info, let me know.)

(Music video here, of the musical instrument style I have in mind-ish.  If receiving by email, click title line above to get to the blog.)

Anyone who's ever had a heart...


 And I am not 100% happy about my first verse... it doesn't flow properly meter-wise, so I might change it eventually.

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Why Does Sh!t Happen To ME? Ohhh... I Get It!

I shake my head in near disbelief at all the crap I've been through.

A few nights ago, I asked myself the classic question:  "WHY ME?"

Really, of all people, why ME?

It seems to me that out of everyone I have ever met, I've had an inordinate amount of ... shall we say "interesting things" happen to me.

Ugh.  Some of those interesting things are downright disgusting.

Barely did I get the "WHY ME?" line of questioning done when, nearly instantaneously, I got this other thought running through my head, which caused me to run for a pen and paper to jot it down:

"It is because even though you hurt, you bounce back, and you show others through your writing that it can be survived, that it does get better.  You have the writing talent to convey your empathy and your encouragement."

And that is why I have so many stories to tell.

Gee, thanks, God.  I do love You, but wow, You must have a lot of faith in me.  I'll try not to let You down.

So, help me, Jesus...

(There is a video here, of Johnny Cash singing "Why Me, Lord?",  in case you're receiving these updates by email, so you'll have to click to see it.)

"Tell me Lord, if you think there's a way
 I can try to repay
All I've taken from You
 Maybe Lord, I can show someone else
 What I've been through myself
On my way back to you."