Life, Love, Long Hair, Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth, and other mysteries

All this and more, from a semi-Serbian, slightly sane, former editor for physicians and surgeons, who is the mother of seven kids.

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Pretending Everything's Fine When It's Not

Do you ever feel troubled by something, or by someone - or by many somethings and someones - but you keep quiet about it, try to act like nothing's wrong, and hope you are the one that is wrong?

That a solution will be found?

That the pain will end?

Maybe someone has hurt you, but you are hoping it was unintentional, so rather than create an issue because of your own feelings, you wait, quietly, painfully, for a resolution.

Perhaps you love that person so much, you'd rather take the pain than risk hurting them by questioning them on their actions.

So, you go about life, working, talking to other people, laughing, maybe even singing, on the surface appearing to be quite normal, and maybe for the most part you do feel 99% fine, but on the inside there's that little 1% - ooh, "we are the 1%" - that is so powerful, it's on the verge of killing you despite the 99% that is trying to shut you up.

I've heard the phrase "taking the high road" - is that what that would be called?

Yeah, I think you know what I'm talking about.  You're reading this, so you must be human.

Then again, I shouldn't assume that everyone has felt this way.  Maybe some don't.  I'd love to hear about it, if so.

The song here, "Save Me", by Queen, doesn't quite say it, but in some ways it does... 

"Save me, save me, save me
I can't face this life alone"

That's not to say I'm not saved by the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.  For me, that is a given.

But there is still life on earth.

There is so much pain here, for so many.

Save me, save me, save me...

(I bet there are more people who can relate than are willing to admit it.  Here I am to say that I am one who understands.  I have no answers, but I do understand.)

If you like my writing, check out my other entries, and click "follow" on the top left of this page.

A few other related and semi-related posts:


  1. I am willing to admit it. My head has decided it doesn't matter, and for the most part I agree. I thought I had reached a conclusion within myself, but I realised yesterday when I was around them that there is still a painful niggling 1% that is trying to be noticed that just makes things too hard to go through normal life sincerely. I realise I'm putting a mask over it, and I'm kind of wondering if there is a point in pretending, because it certainly doesnt make things easier for me. But at the same time, I'm so used to hiding my feelings, that to stop pretending seems impossible, especially when there is such conflict within myself.

    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Tigereye, and for understanding. If we don't think about things, talk about them, search for solutions, there is NO chance of finding answers.

  2. It is so easy to assume other peoples feelings are more important than your own. Very powerful. Thank You.

    1. Thank YOU, Karla, for your comment. Always appreciated.

  3. I have learned to 'question' people who hurt me or even behave in a way that makes me seriously wonder what is wrong with them, even if I am very close to that one, to put it to them in the form of curiosity. You know... like... 'hmmmm... I'm curious (insert name). Why is it you are doing or saying such a thing as this. Just want to see it from your point of view.'
    It really works and sometimes I actually get it. haha Sometimes I don't but at least they know I don't agree and that's ok. Know what I mean?

    1. I like that idea, Linny. I think it'd be easier for me to pose such a question in writing or over the phone than in person, though not impossible. Thank you!!!

  4. Its amasing how people think and the actions they take it like they say it all play acting until some one dys from it .People have to stop using others for there gain and treat nice people like gold.The heck with trying to beat some one to a premotion or turning people in to boss on the job ask questions to the peron and say why did you do this what is your motive for putting me down behind my back.But they dont. they jus stay quiet and the person who did the play acting get looked at better for turning you in for somting you didnt do.Or people go see family members and get adive no how to live there lives when they know advice is all with in your self we all know how to treat each other but selfishness takes over example.I new a lady who was the same age as me she when up to go see a family member.She got brainwashed into a certan idea so she carried it out. but she had to get rid of me first but she didnt know how . So she seaked out my oldest friend for help .Becuse the other man in her life told her to drop me as her friend and lover or he would not pay the child support for what she loved so dearly .so she had to devise a way. she called a preacher friend of mine who is no longer my friend becuse of this.And they devised and idea of how to do this he agred he gets his long term friend to pay attion more to him insead of doing hanky panky with my lady friend / the lady friend is free of me.So he called me up with a dream inturpition and said it ment a certan idea and he sayed i have to call some one of athorty there is problems with that curtain lady friend i said to the peacher dont do any thing till i get there .so she called me up wile i was getting ready crying saying i was breaking up her family she hung up and her family beleves this as well they dont know my side of the story that i never made the call my ex preacheer friend did and i disowned him for it .She never thaught mabe isnt me if you like someone you will aways ask them why who how come and you will belve there answer becuse you love them.But in the end i found out there was no call to the welfare they both set it up and they both lied to me about it so there you go people

    1. I apologize for the delay in this comment being published. I don't know what went wrong.

      I found your words in the inner workings of my blog.

      Normally, Blogger sends me an email to let me know of new comments awaiting approval, but I didn't get one for this and a few others across which I just stumbled.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and how crappy that those people were playing you like that. :(

      Nice people are about as hard to find as gold and I agree that they should be treated as such.


Talk to me - please.